I now know true loneliness. I thought I had experienced it before, and maybe I’m not at full depth, but I’m deep as I’ve ever been.
When your views on politics, religion, and relationships alienate all but a few far flung internet friends, then things get lonely.
I have what I would call ‘surface’ friends. We get along on shallow subjects and respect one another enough not to step into disagreeable subjects, so when it comes to things that really matter to me I have to stay mute.
This is really troubling for me because I’ve studied these matters intensely for a good many years, and painstakingly put the pieces together, and possess a clarity about things that most can’t fathom. Yet they call me an uneducated nut job.
The world needs us badly, and rejects us vehemently, and we still plow on with our mission because it is the
truth that we fought long and hard for that possesses us and fuels us. We know it to be truth in our core, it is all that matters to us now, despite our personal lives falling to pieces.
I’ve lost the respect and friendship of my wife, daughter, brother, sister, friends, coworkers, yet I remain unfazed regarding my beliefs.
I don’t know what my place is in this bondage of truth, but I’m stuck with it and I sure hope it pays off somewhere down the line.